The dark light
by neko pfffff
Summary: it takes great strength to submit to love. Monsters do fall in love, monsters do need to be loved, to be cared for and to be saved. Will Fem/Takaba realize it in time? (first fiction ever! please be patient with me, i intend to make it a multi-chapter story, well if anybody likes it anyway)
1. prologue

I didn't choose this life, darkness choosed me. You may think of me as a monster but you have to understand that monsters are not born they are made, you asked me to open up and tell you about myself, there is nothing to tell just an annoying whiny story as old as the world.

Know me well Akihito, i don't ask so i don't get denied what i want, i don't dwell on the past so i don't get trapped in it, i don't fear death so i can beat it through life.

Here you are claiming your freedom while i'm the one detained, willingly maybe, but still i am chained.

Here you are begging to be saved while i am the one in pain, i may not show, but still, if you dared to look, you'll see through the craked armor that i am the one who needs to be saved.

I hide my dim light under my mantel of night, it may not be much light but it can beat the darkness, and guide you... just look at me...look for me.


	2. Chapter 1

I hope that you will like the story, i promise to update at least twice a week, each chapter will be no longer than 500 words.

So first thing first « The finder serie belongs to Yamane-sama... bla bla bla... i don't own anything... » well you get it!

Some explanations : this is a story with a Female Takaba, it takes place after the « pray in the abyss » arc, mostly in Asami Pov.

It's a story about love and stupid things that it makes us do, a lot of hurt!asami, confused/carring!Aki and a take on Asami's past. And maybe a pregnant Aki along the way.

Please please review and by the way i'm french please forgive any misspelling and feel free to point them so i can « take them down ». So lets continu the story, shall we?

Asami POV

The heart mostly asks what the mind can't stand and the mind often asks what the heart can't give up.

Weird, life is weird, and a statement like this from a man like me means it all.

Here i am standing in this room mourning a sleep that seems to be mad at me, jeez the little tiger next to me seems to be sleeping just fine, should i wake her up for some very early morning activities...or maybe not.

God, if only you could see through my eyes what a mesmerising sight you're displaying here, naked and defenseless, you worked your way sheepishly into my life and bewitched my heart.

if the walls could talk they would tell you how many nights i spent looking at you, scrutinizing every inch of this skin i'm worshiping, lolling in the sweet agony of every breath you take.

Tiger in disguise of a kitten, always complaining about my ways and how i give you no choice when you are the one who's leaving me no choice. My mother, always told me that women can turn weakness into strength. I never thought that i experience it first hand and here i am, said man of steel, bottoming from the top for miss sleeping beauty here. Scratch that!

"Aki, wake up"

"ugh...Bastard, did you have a stroke? can't you see that is 3 in the morning?"

"now, now kitten, watch that mouth of yours"

"go to sleep old man!"

...Old man...jeez

"that is it young lady! you 're in for a punishment...you can call me daddy if you want!"

"...dad...WHAT? get of me you bastard"

Before she enchante us with her worked vocabulary, my lips make their way to her sinful mouth to silence her.

If i can't have love at least i can make it or fake it in our never ending nightly mascarade.


	3. Chapter 2

Yep another chapter hope you like it please review and tell me what you think of it so i can decide either to continu or give up on this crazy idea.

"You should never ask the saddened eye what made it cry as you never ask the leaving day what made it end"

Asami POV

bip bip bip bip

"...mhm..."

I shifted under the covers untangling myself from the little witch to reach the annoying small vibrating device, yes just what i needed after 2 hours of sleep : Kirishima!

"Asami speaking"

"good morning sir, sorry for calling you this early but we are having a major problem at the aerport."

"what kind?"

"the kind that request your presence sir."

"get the car, i coming down."

I hang up, kiss my Aki softly on the cheek before heading to the bathroom for my morning ritual, the second i make it out of the bathroom's door, a fully dressed Tiger-chan is merely inchs from my face;

" where the fuck are you going?"

" good morning to you too" No doubt the day is starting well.

I choose to ignore her and get dressed i have more important things to tend to than her usual morning tantrum.

"i can't believe it! you're ignoring me! you bastard! you raped me for most of the night and woke up like nothing happened."

"..." where is my watch, she annoys me with all her babling... bastard... bastard, if i wasn't expected i'll be up for some morning educationnal session!

"hey! i'm talking to you! earth to bastard-sama!"

"did i ever tell you that i am really a bastard?"

"...what... what are you talking about? did you just tell me that?"

"..." shit did i really tell her that? ...maybe i should see a doctor for this sleeping disorder! i'll ask kirishima to make an appointment.

"you can't drop weird things like this in the morning...anyway you promised yesterday to help me make a scoop in exchange of my latest photos. You have to keep your word otherwise..."

"otherwise what, making threats again Takaba?" talking about lack of sensibility, thank god.

"YOU PROMISED"

jeez, she's screaming in my head! "ok ok i was teasing you, i'll take you to Sion and find something for you there but before that i have some business to tend to at the airport."

"you gave up too easly old man! are you hiding something?"

i glare at her and rush her out of the door, in a blink of the eye we're already in the car heading to the airport while kirishimi fills me in the problem : as a matter of fact i don't understand what's the problem literaly, the cargo plane landed at 4 a.m but since then no sign of life came from it : no transmission no men no marchandise...WTF?

I glance out the window, we're already in some landing area and i spot Suoh. As the car came to a stop i told miss-winner-of-screaming-contest to stay in the car, she glares daggers to me but luckily acquiesces without further arguing.

As kirishima and i make our way to Suoh to sort this shit out, a shot rang in the air, then all i could discern was panic in every face around me and...and agonizing pain, yes pain, i fell with kirishima trying to shield me that's all i could made out and then...

"Ryuichi...Ryuichi"

"Aki..." she's crying and covered in blood, is she hurt? god i failed again " are you hurt?"

"No, Ryuichi you baka, it's your blood, you've been shot! please don't die, i l..."

i didn't... i couldn't anymore, i let go and then it was only darkness and pain.

Hehehe mean cliff! i'll update soon if people likes it please review so i can get some feedback


	4. Chapter 3

ok another chapter i'm in the mood lol hopefully more people will fav/review the story it seems that the fem!takaba thing is not very popular! i forgot to tell you that i got inspired reading a het!fiction by twisted-sheet, the story is amazing and i discovered reading it that a fem!takaba is very compatible with the spirit of the original story.

"A healer they call me, i cure people's wounds, but who heals mine."

Takaba POV

"Ryuichi...Ryuichi" no no no he's bleeding, where did it went all wrong? it's a nighmare!

"Aki...are you hurt?"

What he's just been shot and he's worried about me? baka, Ryuichi no baka.

"No, Ryuichi you idiot, it's your blood, you've been shot! please don't die, i l..."

I...love him, i do love this arrogant man, god i love him...and he's dying!

"no, no, nooo don't close your eyes please"

"Takaba-san, the paramedics and the ambulance are here please step aside and stay near me" said Suoh, rushing me to the side.

i reluctantly indulge his request and watch the two paramedics tear asami's shirt put some mask on his face, i stay close to them and hear them babbling their incoherent and not less disturbing jargon.

"he's hypoventilating his SAT is at 85, tachycardia at 140, tension 8/4, he's going into shock."

"give him 2 cc of adrenalin, he's loosing too much blood as soon as he's stabilized for transport will get him out of here, i'll go check on the other one"

yes! kirishima has been shot too...oh god oh god i didn't even realize it... i looked at Suoh.

"Takaba-san, please, stay near me, one of the shooters is in the wind, the place is not safe"

"how can you ask such thing from me Suoh, i don't care about my safety, asami is dying..." he's dying, hurt and dying... i can't...

"the Boss is strong" said Kirishima startling me "he will make it"

"kirishima! are you ok what about your wound?"

"it's a scratch. Suoh take the car and follow the ambulance to the hospital. Takaba-san please go with him!"

"what? i'm not leaving asami's side!"

"listen to me takaba-san it's too dangerous! i'll ride with him so i can keep an eye on him, whoever put a hit on him won't be satisfied just by wounding him and i can't protect the two of you!"

"ok, OK i get it!"

"thank you Takaba-san! Suoh see you in the hospital please call in for reinforcement for more security mesures in the hospital and take care of Takaba-san"

"hai"

i steal a glance to Asami before they close the ambulance doors, he looks pale, fragile and...in pain. God please don't let him die. I rush to the car where Suoh is already dictating various recommendation on the phone. I jump in and he speeds behind the ambulance, on the road he explains to me that they were two shooters one of them is dead while the other is on the wind, he also explains how the cargo plane matter was a trap most likely and that from now on we should be extra carefull and moove asami away from the hospital to a safer place, the second his doctor will allow it...

"eeeeh?"

God! him and Kirishima are so confident in Asami's recuperating skills that they are already thinking of getting him out of the hopital? Yakuzas are insane! that's it! me on the other side i can't help it but feel worried and guilty. While listening silently to Suoh speaking on the phone again, i can't stop replaying this awfull morning in my head the shooting, all the blood, me screaming and crying...the way he looked at me and how he was worried for me even in his state, the troubling thing he told me at the penthouse...

Please god let him be fine, i'll do anything, just let him be fine.


	5. Chapter 4

please review, any suggestion is welcomed.

* * *

"You left but your image like a ghost never did, he kept haunting my eyelids and tourmenting my heart."

Takaba POV

Nobody hates hospitals more then me i think, i feel like i've been sitting here since forever, there is no windows in this hell to feel the time passing by, my only company is never-talking-slash-never-sitting-Suoh who only manages to glare at me from time to time.

The second we arrived at the hospital this morning, the miracle workers in white rushed Asami into an OR, they've been there operating him for the past ten hours.

suddenly an extremely nervous looking doctor, came out of the door; i nearly fell on my face standing up

"how is he?" i blurt out unceremoniously, Suoh is right behind me.

" Asami-sama is stabilized we are mooving him right now to the ICU, the surgery went well but we nearly lost him twice as you know he suffered 2 bullet wounds one hit his right clavicula broke it and damaged the artery running below it, we repared it, his right arm suffered some ischemia but with the right care and reeducation everything will be fine, now the major wound..."

"more major than the first?" is he kidding me...

"Asami-san please let me continu, i will answer all your eventual questions when i'm done."

"Please go ahead" can't believe it, he called me Asami! he thinks i'm his wife...i think i'm going to pass out! God i need to see him right now.

"As i was explaining, the bullet wound to the chest went right through his sternum, broke it and injured his right lung and its blood vessels, we repared all the damage caused but its a tricky injury to heal that is going to need much care and patience, i will fill you in later on the recommandations, pain management and specific healing process. any questions?"

"i need to see him! right now!"

"that's not a question but you may see him, please follow me."

And i followed him silently with Suoh in my shadow, in front of the wanted room Kirishima was already waiting, i wonder if he was in the OR with Asami? Asami is right Kirishima must have some obsessive-compulsive disorder!

once in front of the door, the three men stared at me like waiting for my approuval!

And then the doctor speaks up : "ready? remember what i told you earlier he's in critical condition but stable, he is connected to several machines to help us monitor him, and a artificial ventilation device to help him breath without putting much effort on his torso."

"i'm ready" i blurt out. i can do it i'm strong and...and i need to see him...make sure with my own eyes that he's alive.

the doctor opens up the door and i'm faced with a living nightmare my own personnal nightmare : he's...he's...

This is hell, i can't look at him he looks so fragile and defenseless : his once ever-smirking face now is contorted in a pain-like mimic,pale too pale, half covered in a horrible breathing mask, bandage covering most of his visible torso, god only knows what's under the sheet. I must have paled or staggered, because in a heartbeat the doctor was looking at me with concern while kirishima moved near me.

"i'm fine" i tell them " i just need a minute alone with him please"

Kirishima and Suoh nod to me, bow down respectfully to the sleeping form in the bed before dragging the doctor outside the room, the door is not even closed, i'm at his side crying myself into insanity...Ryuichi... i'm so sorry...so sorry...oh god...please...please...

* * *

the story does not seem to please much people so i'm surely going to wrap it up in one or mostly two other chapters, unless i got requests to keep going, thanks to those of you who reviewed, it meens a lot to me


	6. Chapter 5

hehehe i'm back sorry for the delay but trust me, you don't wanna know where i was (not in jail baka) ok let's move on with the story, i hope you enjoy what's coming up next and again feel free to share any dark fantasy of yours that you'd like to see in the story...

Aki POV

Days have passed by of this hell-like routine of waiting, doctors, nurses and goons, an army of goons, god my life is so fucked up, Asami is doing better, still inconscious but better, at least that's what that total-sucker of doctor has assured kirishima-san and me. And talking about Kirishima, with the days passing by, his OCD has leveled up to OMG, now he annoys even Suoh-san. If Asami could see him he would be laughing at us. No body is allowed to see "his boss" without going through a backgroud check up (each time) and a full body search, he makes everybody (me included) wear surgical cloths, protections and wash hands (and body if he could) before setting foot in "his boss" room and when i say "his boss" room i meam the full fucking sixth floor, i'm sure in the next days he'll be asking blood tests of everybody before talking about "his boss" for fuck sake...At least being angry at kirishima, keeps me from jolting out, i'm scared but i have to stay strong, and curse Kirishima while sipping my coffe.

Talking about the devil, he's coming my way; "kirishima-san..."

"Takaba-san, Asami-sama is emerging, you may want to come with me"

"What..." i drop the coffe in my confusion  
"calm down takaba-san, he's fine still mind fogged, not really awake but... emerging"  
"emerging? what's that supposed to mean?"  
"that's what the doctor said! akihito..."  
"Okay! don't "akihito" me! let's go!"  
i follow him to asami's room, my heart is beating so fast, i think it might give in, we dodge some hospital personnel rushing in and out and of course goons, a sea of goons, loud beeping sounds coming of the said room.  
once in the room the worthless doctor spots us and start explaining " he's waiking up, the pain med is making him groggy but we took off the ventilator and he's breathing on his own" he makes some room for me near the bed and keeps talking but who knows what he said, i locked eyes on Asami's face and in a heartbeat, a excruciating long heartbeat, his eyelid flutters and here they are : somptuous golden eyes blinking, searching, analysing...  
"ASAMI.." i scream on the verge of tears, he spoted me, blinks once more and closes his eyes again before reopening them after what seems like forever to me. he makes a pained sound and than closes his eyes. No, no, no...

"takaba-san please calm down, he's waking up gradually, he's doing extremely fine" the doc' says.  
"ok, i'm calm, but he's in pain, i can feel it... can't you do something. Do something" i yell at him.  
he has the audacity to look startled and then blurts out " takaba-san it's like i said to you we have to lessen the pain meds dose so he can wake up, we'll keep monitoring him nevertheless, trust me he's doing very fine : his injuries are healing fine and fast, it's fine to say that he's out of critical condition, in an hour or too he'll be fully awake, i personally recommends that he stays in the hospital for at least 2 other weeks but because of your particular situation you might check him out in 48h, of course you have to follow my recomendations strictly"  
before i can answer this moron (i don't know why i hate his guts) Kirishima answers him "thank you doctor for you hard work, let's go outside finalize the tranfer operation" he nods toward me and with a look rushes everybody out, a nurse remains behind, she checks something on the monitor and is the last to leave the room.

they're all gone and i can have finally a moment of peace so i can look truthfully to my man...my? is he mine? if he's not what am i doing here? why the ache? why this pain? isn't this man forcing himself on me? these outgoing days had passed by like hell, no sleep, no food, nothing had meaning or reason and i kept seing him covered in blood asking me if i'm fine... this control-freak had really messed up my mind. I dare a look at him, his breathing is slow, at least that horrible breathing machine is gone. he looks pale otherwise you'd think he's sleeping with some hair bangs falling carelessly on his face i inconsciously reach out to move them off and before i realize it, golden eyes are back like they never left...  
"aki..."  
i heard it, like a whisper but i heard it, dim, barely audible but i heard it, my voice cracks with held sobs "ryuichi"  
"if all that..that it takes for you to speak my birthname was to get myself shot... i would have obliged years ago"  
"baka that's just so you, you keep putting me in these awful situations" tsk... now i'm crying freely in front of the bastard.

"i'm sorry"  
what? that look again. "you're really in bad shape, old man, first time ever i hear you saying the word sorry"  
he smiles to me, not a smirk but a honest to god smile, that's a first too if only his expression wasn't this pained "you're in pain?"  
"hmm.."  
"i should call the doctor..."  
"no..."  
"no? but you're in pain"  
"what... hapenned?"  
"you don't recall?"  
"it's foggy, i recall the cargo-plane, the shooting and kirishima..."  
he looks confused, that's an other first "he's out... i mean kirishima i can call him in if you want" i saw relief in his eyes, that's when i understood, kirishima was in the shooting too, he was worried for his man...that's unexpected! "i'll go fetch him" i say heading to the door and wiping away my tears.

* * *

and that's a new chapter hope u like it please review i'm a very selfconscious review addict, please feed my ego so i can write more (just kidding but please love me some feed-back review)


	7. Chapter 6

hello back sooner than i thought, thanks for all the reviews, they brought joy to my heart :) i'm serious (the more u review the more i write!) love y'all. let's get back to business!

* * *

the second i opened the door, kirishima materializes himself in front of me like a devil whistled by its master - the moron startled me - tss.  
"kirishima-san, asami is asking for you" the second the last word leaves my mouth, he teleporte himself in the room, that's the only way i can call that kind of speed, so much for devotion!  
"asami-sama, thank god for your recovery" he says, he's so formal, fufufufufu...  
asami narrows his eyes at me while i'm just about to start mocking his faithful and boring hand man. Then, an incredible thing happen : kirishima fell to his knees in front of asami's bed. For a neverending minute, a thick silence reigns in the room, then kirishima starts talking again without moving from his current position : " i'm sorry for letting you down asami-sama, i should have known that it was a trap, i should have secured the perimeter better, my negligence is unforgivable, i shall..."  
"you shall stand up" asami interrupts him.

Me on the other hand, i'm mortified, i feel like an intruder, i should go out of the room...and that's what i did.

waiting outside the room i can't help but wonder how these two just took the relation employer-employee to another level, that's just weird, i wonder what's happening inside now, i'm just too curious. No no no no i'm waiting right here until that nutjob of secretary leaves the room.  
That's how i ended up waiting a good hour outside; damn you kirishima! i saw asami awake merely 5 minutes, and you monopolize him for nearly an hour, i was in the middle of putting up a plan to rescue asami from this wacko, when the room's door swung open revealing an unfazed kirishima, he nods toward me and leaves. Tss what a pain in the ass!  
i stroll to the room joyfully teasing asami "he's not missing a finger? is he?"  
A low chuckle urges me to finally settle eyes on him, he's almost sitting now leaning against some cushions, surely kirishima's doing. he looks relaxed, alert but nevertheless relaxed, Well as much as "Asami Ryuichi The Great" can relax.

Damn you asami! how do you manage to look this sexy even in the awful hospital gown? my mind should not drift that way... damn it! living with this sex crazed devil, made a perv out of me!  
"what are you ...scheming there?" he startled me! he speaks slowly, he must be in pain.  
"nothing, don't you want me to call the doctor so he can adjust your pain meds dose?"  
"kirishima went to fetch him along with some reports"  
"reports? what for? you need to rest now, the work can wait! damn it"  
"did you ...miss... me?"  
"that is...WHAT?"  
"were you worried?"  
"of course i was, you baka, what kind of question is this? and that's not the point, stop playing me! you should be resting!"  
"come closer"  
"you're not planning anything funny, are you?"  
"don't be ridiculous, look at me, i'm harmless in this state" he narrows his eyes to me and smirks.  
Well i'll be damned! my arrogant megalomaniac and sex crazed ever smirking yakuza is back! like the doc' said he's "emerging"

Before i fall for his shenanigans, there's a knock on the door and that moron of doctor is coming in followed by my mother in law : kirishima. How frustrating...  
"good morning, asami-sama, i hope you're feeling better"  
"kurosaki-seinsei" asami greets him.  
"i need to check your injuries, and state of awareness" he says while looking at me.  
"they may stay" asami tells him and continue "how is your mother?"  
"she's fine, thank you asami-sama" and proceeds to take off the upper part of asami's hospital gown, i move closer so i can help but kirishima beats me to it, i glare at him while he does his best to ignore me and of course asami didn't miss a bit of the silent exchange. he smircks, bastard!  
"asami-sama, you are recovering well, the flesh wounds are healing fast and nice but there are some recommendations i'd like you to follow carefully : your respiratory system is already struggling because of the lung injury, i advise against keeping up your smocking habit at least for a while also any respiratory infection would put your life in danger.."  
"even the flu?" i ask him incredulously.  
"yes, miss takaba even the flu, so i advise extreme precautions, as for the arm's injury it's completly healed by now, you may have some difficulties moving it with accuracy right now, but with the 3 weeks rehabilitation program i gave your assistant along with your prescription everything will get back to normal..."

he keeps talking and explaining the recovery progress, asami and kirishima both seems to be listening to him truthfully, me on the other side i can't help but worry about what he said, even the flu! what the hell! didn't he say that asami is out of danger some hours ago... asami cast a glance to me, and goes back to listening to the said "kurosaki-seinsei" he must know him well, he even asked him of his mother.  
I sit down on the chair near asami's bed and lock eyes on him, i hate seeing him hurt, i hate it, sometimes i miss my old simple life when all i had to worry about was paying the rent and getting a scoop, now i have a boyfriend who is not even really my boyfriend, all he's interested in is fucking me, and don't even know whant i'm feeling for him, it can even be some fucked up kind of stockholm syndrom, and even if i settle for loving him, he's... so far away of my ligue, and on top of that he's a crime lord, oh... yes and someone wanted to kill him and nearly succeeded and now even the flu is out for his blood, this is beyond fucked up, all this myriad of feelings is killing me, i can't go through the hell of the last days again, never ever again... i'm so tired.

* * *

here you go, an other chapter enjoy and please reviews. any criticism is very welcomed. as for the fem!takaba thing, please indulge my fantasy lol i'm a big fan of yaoi as well (the proof : i'm here) but i find it weird that when i look in my mind for a strong female figure in my collection of mangas, i find none and when i say strong female figure i mean a lead not a side kick lol even some yaoi now have uke that are beyond feminin knocking on the "stupid helpless fragile sweet an boring" shojo girl door and as a feminist i find that disgusting! GIRL-POWAAAAA


End file.
